Powerless To Powerful - My Story
Updated: Jan 18
Some might say I’ve had a bit of a “tragedy-driven” life story for most of my life.
From a difficult childhood with an alcoholic father who embedded fear, lack, unworthiness, and distrust deep in my child heart to going through multiple failed marriages, the loss of my brother to suicide, a bout with cancer and too many career moves that placed me straight into the #Metoo scenarios more times than I care to admit, life has given me many reasons to fail but I chose not to.
To the outside world though, I seemed invincible. People loved my enthusiasm, my positive attitude, and my relentless approach to seeing the glass half full…
but for many years, that was just a show. A “fake it till you make it” show. I seemed together on the outside as I was disintegrating on the inside. Riddled by fear, anxiety, unsurmountable amounts of stress and deep depression at times, I would use procrastination to sabotage my success.
Until the day it all came crashing down on me.
The jig was up, and I could no longer keep up the masks that I interchangeably used depending on who I was with and what I was doing. I had no idea who I was anymore.
What I did realize though was that I was constantly sabotaging myself, my relationships, my projects, etc…through procrastination and fear of failing. I would start every project with a manic bout of energy only to completely shut down just before it would get to the end. This would leave me feeling defeated, gutted and seriously disappointed in myself and taking permanent residence in victimhood.
I was inundated with limiting beliefs that were collected along the path of my life and my suitcase was full to the brim, it was completely weighing me down and keeping me from accomplishing the things I wanted to. But what could I do?
I couldn’t live like this anymore. I had to find a way to shed these layers of me that weren’t really me and find a way to my true self, my most authentic self, the one I was before life and all its actors imprinted their fears and stories onto me. The one that kept tugging at me to come out.
Embarking On My Journey To Self-Discovery
I began the long journey towards developing self-awareness about who I was and what I was about. I found ways to decondition myself of all those limiting beliefs and recondition my mind using visualization, affirmations, and powerful mantras.
I spent more than 15 years on this journey of self-discovery and healing.
After a while, I started formulating a customized approach to all my new projects. One that would help me develop and organize the idea, research the opportunities, create an action plan and move me all the way through to execution and successful completion of my goal.
AND IT WORKED!
The first time I used it and successfully achieved my goal, I thought it might be a fluke and that I had just gotten lucky. So, I kept using the same formula. It was way too simple to be true, I thought, but it ended up working every single time. I started collecting these tiny wins along the way with every successful project which in turn had the effect of boosting my self-confidence to levels I had never imagined I could get to.